Your Feet Will Touch the Soils of Many Lands

by andrewmam

Where would you go if you could move anywhere in the world?

I have so many places to list. First I’d have to consider all the elements of what would make it livable and enjoyable. Can I make money and survive? Will it engage me? Will I have a space to dance? Will I grow as an artist? Will I be comfortable? Will I engage in struggle and survival in order to learn?

These questions run my mind in this moment in time because I’ve arrived at an important, interesting conjuncture point in my life. Graduated looking for a full time job while simultaneously reaching new plateaus in my dance career. Beginning my professional career while reaching the 11th year of my lifetime as a craft-dedicated, head over heels in love artist.

The point of the adventure is to not have an answer, is something I would tell someone in my shoes. The uncertainty. The excitement. The young, dumb, and full of courage. Staying hungry and foolish as Steve Jobs advised. This is a pinnacle moment to enjoy. These are the blog posts I’ll hopefully find time to read when I’m 34 that will awaken a new creative spirit and drive for life.

I’m lucky to have grown up in San Jose, and to have this home I love as a place to return to. In terms of jobs, versus the rest of the market around the country, this place offers incredible opportunities in relation. All of the major tech companies boom here and no matter how hard others will try to convince me that they’re all leaving the Bay Area, there’s no denying the firey nature of this place. Innovation, creation, success, and ego dominate this landscape. This is a great place to grow. I know I have talents. I may not be a rare talent and exceptionally skilled asset to a company yet, but I do know I have the drive, intelligence, and off-center personality that will allow me to thrive once I put my mind to whatever it is I pursue.

What I acknowledge right now though is that I have a great problem to be thankful for: the paralysis of choice. How much possiblity lies out there for me? Am I salesman? A creative? A marketing guru waiting to hatch and flood your information streams with products I back? Am I a closet coder and engineer? Am I an entrepreneur waiting to blossom under the mentorship of great men and women? Who knows! All I know is that I’m awesome and I solemnly promise right now to continue to remain awesome. I don’t say this to make others feel lesser, or to make myself feel greater. I say it to acknowledge and accept my own self-love and self-belief as I venture into a world that will try to make me do the opposite; to make me feel like I’m not good enough, not smart enough, not skilled enough. Fuck that. I’m the shit. And you are too, whether or not you chose to acknowledge it and let it become a part of your being.

Simultaneously, I would be lying if I said that my mind does not drift to dancing and how far I’ve come and how far I’ve to go. I came home from IBE feeling so much fire to train and improve in all elements of my dancing. To practice house and become cleaner/well-versed. To practice Hip Hop freestyle and bring it back to the Bay. To practice B-boying and become even Nastier, Deadlier, etc. I question where I would want to live because I’ll be honest: If I ever choose to go 100% with dance, I’m moving to Europe or Japan.

Well, as for Japan, that’s the next travel destination I need to hit dance-wise. I have friends and actual fans (that blows my mind) out there I would love to meet, share with, build with, battle against, teach, learn from, etc. Tokyo, Hiroshima, Kyoto, Osaka. I’d tell people I’m Okinowan because apparently I look like it.

Besides that though, I want to be in a place where I am surrounded by passionate, hungry, and foolish people, always driving to be their best. I want to feel that I’m in good company. And I guess…the purpose of this freewrite blog about how confused I am is this revelation: I can extend this hunger to my professional career search. There is so much out there in world for me. This I know. I view dance with such a perspective and desire to live in Europe or Japan because I know this dance life/world so dearly and so well. I know dancing in and out, from a human level to an academic and even a professional one. Do I know everything? No. But do I know enough that it stirs my stomach and makes my bones tingle? Yes.

However, it is not being selfish to say that I would like to find something else I love in this world. A new skill, a new direction, a new vision to inspire me. I would like to find something like this in a more profitable, lucrative, and generally all-around more sustainable professional career path haha. It is out there for me. I know it. And with that said, I need to put my foot in the door at a good company/good industry to begin the journey to find it. I know I’m awesome. And now I acknowledge, accept, and embrace the FACT that I know I can be and will be more awesome tomorrow.  I open my heart to new loves because dancing will always be there for me. Now it’s time to expand. To grow. To struggle. And to triumph in ways I never knew possible for myself.

Upward and Onward. I am powerful.